Come si dice, limbo ?¿ (2025)

lim·bo /ˈlimbō/

noun: limbo

an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition.

"the future of Sophie diGrazia is now in limbo"

If I had to choose any month to pair with the word limbo, it would be December. Since I’m still in the mood to write about all the fun life lessons I’ve been learning (PSA 🚨 Girl blog is getting a rebrand in the New Year, so watch this space) and to celebrate the month of the in-between, I want to analyze the state of limbo.

Since my last post, I’ve been processing a fairly large transitional moment that I’m down to share with strangers on the internet because it’s been a wild season of life, so why not document it?

For some context, my dream has always been to work in creative marketing at a company that inspires and does cool shit. Since I’ve never been great with specificity, I’ve had literally ✨so many✨ jobs between agencies and freelancing to experimenting with different brands & marketing niches until I found the perfect-fitting glass slipper for my career.

The summer brought me a lot of clarity and I narrowed it down to two options: brand marketing in the fashion industry or media & podcast production at a media company. I was hyyyyyyped about finding some clarity, so I started applying to jobs soon to realize; that both of those industry hubs are in either NYC or LA. Le duh, Sophie.

Having ~literally~ just moved back to the Bay a year ago after a two-year stint in LA during the covid era - I was pretty sure I wouldn't be going back there.

I just got back from spending three weeks of my summer on the East Coast tour, which actually sparked a lot of ideas about New York. One thing about me is I <333 a hyperfixation daydream. The idea started to snowball.

At this point, it’s August and I’ve been back in SF for almost a year. I’m genuinely happy for the first time in a while and spend my days freelance girl-bossing away in my sun-soaked studio. I casually apply to in-office roles in SF while dedicating all my time to exploring the city with my perfect friend group, who I adore so much.

I filed the NYC pipe dream in the back of my head, waiting for 'the right time.' If it’s meant for me, I’ll know.

September rolled around and we welcomed San Francisco’s yearly hot and dry Indian summer extending one of the best summers I’ve ever had by one more month.

On September 13th, I lost a piece of my heart. My sweet and perfect Grandma June passed away to go where she’s always wanted to be—with my grandpa in heaven 🫠 Death and grief are complex things, an entirely different girl blog, but they can spark a ripple effect of change.

The next month, my dad decided that there was no time like the present to follow your dreams. He shared with us that he plans to leave our little marin-utopia just north of the city to settle down in the mountains. Suddenly, ranch-style properties are being toured, my childhood home is being appraised, and it is going on the market by Spring. Things 👏🏼 are 👏🏼 happening. Quickly.

On November 1st, I received two emails that day. One was from my landlord: 'Your lease is up December 31st; please inform us of next steps.' The second was from one of my freelance clients who decided to randomly pull back our monthly retainer and move into a project-based partnership. I’m sure you can guess who had a panic attack that day 🤪.

After 6 months of being ghosted by job applications, I finally got connected for two job opportunities: a role at a fashion brand doing social media/influencer marketing and a social media/production role for a podcast at a major media company. Both are in NYC. Oy.

The New York fantasy re-entered the chat, except the fun daydream of dirty martinis at trendy Manhattan restaurants was grounded in reality after each Zoom interview ended. I would look around my apartment, my own little apartment with nobody else but me. My first big girl apartment living completely solo.

I admire the photos hanging on the wall of the people I love, along with all the cute little trinkets that I bought at that random store in Chinatown. These things are so small but they still hold meaning. These are things we subconsciously cling to - the familiarity and the things that make a space feel like a home.

My picture-perfect marina girl life started to feel like someone placed me in the middle of my blush pink zebra-print rug and yanked it out from under me. Will I even get these jobs? What if I stay, but I can’t find any more freelance clients? I need to pick up how many U-haul boxes to pack up my childhood room? Wait, you’re moving to Colorado?

As hard as I tried to white-knuckle the reins of my life, I unwillingly entered the state of limbo I was trying so hard to avoid. My world felt like one long free fall, somersaulting through the air, after being kicked out of the nest.

If you're a human reading this, you've experienced some form of limbo—the anticipation of change that hasn't arrived yet. It's the cocoon stage, the unknown, the intermission between life chapters. Whatever you call it, navigating this phase is uncomfortable, especially if, like me, you have a love for control and an overactive mind.

I was trying so hard to prevent my life from changing by maintaining normalcy and filling my time with productivity, but it just left me feeling more anxious and frustrated. Then, one day, I simply stopped trying so hard. I stopped booking workout classes days in advance, I stopped manically pitching freelance clients and applying for jobs I had zero interest in, and I quit living my life by attempting to control tomorrow.

Like all things, limbo doesn’t last forever. As I waited for job opportunities to respond, for my dad to make a decision, and until I felt crystal clear about my life trajectory, I reframed this season to pamper myself. I let go of the reins and went back to doing the fundamental things that made me happy.

I went to pilates at 1PM on a Wednesday, I hot girl walked for two hours while finishing 3 audiobooks written by my new WCW; Emily Ratajkowski, Dianne von Furstenberg and Julia Fox (Girl blog on this coming soon). I made room for the answers to come to me.

Beautiful things are born out of the space between. My creativity flourished, I slept like a pretty princess, and I started to love my new routine of lingering at my dad’s house to 'help with the move,' but mostly to soak up the last few moments at my favorite place with my best friend.

I learned that there’s no right answer to how to handle life’s wild ride. No influencer, Vogue article, or viral TikTok can tell you how to navigate the series of events tailored personally to your simulation.

Although, there is a phrase that comes pretty close: 'Be where your feet are.' If you can be there, find humor in how absolutely blindsiding life can be, and love on your people while you still have them, then eventually, the dust settles around your shoes. The pieces fall where they’re supposed to, the path ahead gets clearer, and limbo turns into purpose.

So we’ll see where my pieces land and I’ll be back in the New Year with an update.

xx

Sophie ❣️