7 types of people you shouldn’t waste energy on, according to psychology (2024)

“Choose your battles wisely” – a saying that holds true in many aspects of life, but none so much as in our relationships with others.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

Every person we meet teaches us something valuable and adds a new layer to our understanding of the world. However, some people can drain our energy more than they enrich our lives.

Here’s a look at seven types of people you may want to reconsider expending your energy on, from the lens of psychology.

1) The perpetual pessimist

Meet the Perpetual Pessimist.

You know the type.

They see the glass as half empty, even when it’s overflowing. They have a knack for finding the cloud in every silver lining and can turn a perfectly good day into a doom-and-gloom fest.

Now, it’s important to show empathy.

Everyone has off days and periods of life where things seem bleak. But when someone’s default setting is negativity, it can be draining to those around them.

Psychology tells us that moods are contagious.

So if you’re constantly surrounded by pessimism, it can start to affect your own outlook on life. Protecting your energy might mean lovingly distancing yourself from these chronic downers.

2) The relentless critic

Ah, the Relentless Critic.

I had a friend like this once.

Nothing was ever good enough for her. She had an opinion about everything, and more often than not, it was a negative one. From the way I dressed to the choices I made – everything was up for judgment.

At first, I thought she was just trying to help me improve.

But over time, I realized that her constant criticism was more about her own insecurities than my shortcomings.

Psychology points out that people project their own feelings of inadequacy onto others.

Essentially, she was using me as a punching bag to deal with her own self-esteem issues. It took me a while, but I finally understood that I didn’t need that kind of negativity in my life.

3) The unapologetic user

Ever had someone in your life who only shows up when they need something?

I call them the Unapologetic Users.

Their calls or texts usually start with a friendly “Hey, how have you been?” but soon transition into “Could you just…?” or “I need a favor…”

It feels like they see you more as a resource than a friend.

You wonder if they genuinely care about you or if they’re just around because of what you can do for them.

Psychology tells us that this kind of one-sided relationship can be harmful to our mental well-being.

It’s exhausting, isn’t it?

Real friendships are about give and take. Yes, we should be there for each other in times of need, but there should also be moments of shared joy, support, and mutual respect.

4) The drama magnet

Life’s a roller coaster, isn’t it?

Ups, downs, twists, and turns. But for some people, it’s more like a never-ending soap opera. They’re what I like to call the Drama Magnets.

Their lives are filled with constant chaos, and they have an uncanny ability to draw you into their whirlwind of issues.

One minute you’re enjoying a quiet cup of coffee, the next you’re sucked into a three-hour phone call about their latest catastrophe.

Being around too much drama can increase our stress levels and potentially even impact our physical health.

Now, don’t misunderstand me. We all have dramatic moments in our lives and it’s important to support our friends in their times of need.

But when every interaction feels like a new episode in a drama series, it might be time to take a step back and conserve your energy for more positive interactions.

5) The energy vampire

Ever heard of the term “energy vampire”?

These are people who seem to suck the life and vitality right out of you, leaving you feeling drained after every interaction.

And here’s a curious thing.

Research in social psychology suggests that our brains have mirror neurons that can mimic the emotions and energy levels of those around us. Essentially, if you’re spending time with someone who’s constantly down, you might start feeling the same way too.

Fascinating, right? But also a little scary.

Especially when you think about how your cheerful mood can tank after a lunch date with your energy vampire friend.

6) The fair-weather friend

Friendship, in its truest form, should be about sticking together through thick and thin.

But then there are those I call the Fair-Weather Friends.

They’re around when the skies are clear and the sun is shining – when you’re at your best. But as soon as a storm hits, they’re nowhere to be found.

It’s a painful realization, isn’t it?

You might wonder if you did something wrong or if you could have been a better friend. But it’s crucial to remember that their inability to stick around during tough times is a reflection of them, not you.

It’s okay to feel hurt, but don’t let their absence make you question your worth. Surround yourself with people who value you for who you are – in all seasons of life.

7) The guilt-tripper

The Guilt-Tripper is a master manipulator.

Their weapon of choice? Emotional blackmail.

They know just what to say to make you feel guilty for not bending to their will. But here’s the important thing you should know:

Your feelings are valid and you have the right to set boundaries without feeling guilty.

So if someone constantly makes you feel bad for prioritizing your needs, it could be a sign that they’re taking more from you than they’re giving.

Final thoughts

Recognizing the energy-draining people in your life can be a tough pill to swallow.

You might even find yourself second-guessing your relationships and feeling a pang of guilt.

Psychology isn’t asking you to abandon these people. Instead, it’s encouraging you to set boundaries and prioritize your own mental well-being.

After all, when we take care of our own energy, we’re in a much better place to give love and light to others.